5. Miley Cyrus - I remember when I used to get annoyed by the obnoxiousness of a post-LIZZIE MAGUIRE Hilary Duff. Now I yearn for those days. Can somebody please Boot Scoot this girl's bony behind back to obscurity? Pretty please, with sugar on top?

4. Anyone whose last name rhymes with "Smardashian." I have never understood the appeal of these "ladies." I doubt I ever will.

3. Levi Johnston - While I find it hilarious that Kathy Griffin used him to get herself more press (the woman is a freaking brilliant self promoter), I do not understand why this boy keeps showing up again and again and again. All he did was get his teenage girlfriend pregnant. Why do we reward these things? I'm no fan of Sarah Palin, but man. GO AWAY.

2. Jon Gosselin - I have no words left for this moron. In fact, I'm actually kind of bored by him at this point. Definitely a top contender for Reality TV Douche of the Year award*

1. Carrie Prejean - "Everyone's out to get me!" "It's not a sex tape if I'm the only one in it, right?" "Good Christians know that marriage is between a man and a woman and that the only people who should have sex are husbands and wives. Well, and that husband's mistress, and that woman's golf instructor, and the babysitter they hire on Thursday nights, and me when I was 17 and sending naked videos of myself to my boyfriend." If there is such a liberal bias in the media, then how does Ann Coulter keep scoring air time on programs I actually watch? Also: sexting? Really, Carrie Prejean? Really? JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.

Flame on!


*Not a real award. I just made that up.

And here it is.

A series of random thoughts I had while reading it:

1. Ohmigod! The picture isn't hideous! In fact, I really like it! (Thank you, William Bretzger - I know I'm a horrible poser, largely unphotogenic, and hate smiling with my teeth showing. But yay! You made it work! Seriously, thank you.)

2. SWEET LIFE isn't a paperback; it's in hardcover. But Patty got the book in galley, so I can see where she got confused.

3. Angela (Martinez) is incredibly sweet.

4. Yay, Alton got a shout out!

5. Whoa, so did Joe.

6. Um. My surgery. In the News Journal. Three paragraphs after I talked about chocolate croissants (which, by the way, I ate WHILE writing SWEET LIFE. I do not currently eat them. I do, however, still drink coffee, even though I'm supposed to limit caffeine). Anyway. Yeah. I'd mentioned my surgery to Patty and knew there was a possibility it would end up in the article, but had no idea how completely NAKED that would make me feel. Also: it's 155 lbs. now. (I'm just saying!)

7. The entire English Dept. at UD now knows I had gastric bypass surgery. (I knew the article was coming out today, but actually got the link from a departmental e-mail blast.)

8. Did I mention feeling NAKED?

9. Al Mascitti makes me laugh. (It's pronounced Ma-SIT-ee, I think.)

10. Chef Phil says he hasn't heard from me in forever, but we e-mailed several months ago when Joe and I were looking for wedding reception venues. After that I met with his business partner and fellow chef Brian, and most of my contact was with him. But it's not like Phil never heard from me again!

11. The dig about the plausibility of hiring a high school student to write culinary reviews ... sigh. My only negative review of SWEET LIFE harped on that, too. I still maintain in a state the size of Delaware, with a weekly supplement geared toward a younger market, the daughter of a celebrity chef and a mother who runs a Celebrity Kitchens type place MIGHT be asked to write reviews on name recognition alone. If she'd turned out to suck, the editor would've ghost-revised it for her. And Stella did more than just write reviews, she also had to update contact info on restaurants and stuff - like the kind of grunt work I did during a brief internship at Delaware Today magazine. So. Yeah.

12. It's really freaking cold in my house. I'm going to go get some coffee (but no croissants!) and warm up.


P.S. Patty, if you're reading this, it's really a lovely article. But even if you're not, I'm going to e-mail you to tell you anyway. :)

On Sept. 4, 2008, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. I'd already dropped 25 lbs. on my pre-surgery diet; as of today, my one-year "surgiversary," I've lost a sum total of nearly 150 pounds. I'm down 8 sizes (and no, that's not a typo) and am now wearing clothes I haven't been able to fit into for 12 years. My sleep apnea is gone, my Type II diabetes is in remission, and my blood pressure is perfect. If it weren't for the wacky hormonal fluctuations I've been having the past four months, I'd say I feel the best I have in my entire life.

This is all of the good stuff.

There is some not-so-good stuff. Like the fact that good bras are expensive, and right now I'm needing a new size at least every two months. Ditto for panties. Yes, I know there are worse problems to have. But money is tight, and I cycle through clothes so quickly that my wardrobe is very limited at times. Either that, or I end up wearing things that are two to four sizes two big, which just makes me look hulky.

Vanity Gripe #1: The last time I was this size/weight, I did not have a double chin. WHY DO I STILL HAVE A DOUBLE CHIN? I hate the double chin with a fiery and irrational passion.

Vanity Gripe #2: Skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. As in, loose skin. As in, crepey skin. As in droopy, saggy, riddled with tiny, nude-colored stretch marks skin (because yes, you get stretch marks when you lose a lot of weight in a relatively short period of time). If I lay on my side and kick my leg straight up, I have athletic-looking thighs. When I stand, loose flesh and the remaining bits of flub droop down around my knees. And don't get me started on my boobs, which look like tube socks with tennis balls at the bottom of them. Joe will kill me for admitting this, but I can smack my own face with the right boob, which cracks me up and makes him shriek "Stop!" like a little girl.

Lastly, after a year of losing weight and inches very, very quickly, all of it has slowed to a crawl. My surgeon says I should be shooting for a 1 lb. a week weight loss. Say wha? I still have 75 I'd like to lose, and about 40 that I should lose before attempting the bun-in-the-oven thing. I'd like to drop two more pants sizes and three more tops sizes. I WANT TO FIND A WAY TO GET RID OF THIS DOUBLE CHIN.

The upside: even though the weight is coming off more slowly, my body composition is still changing pretty frequently. For instance, I've only lost about 10 pounds since early June, but I've dropped an entire clothing size (normally, I have to lose about 20-30 lbs. to switch) and one whole bra size. I can do more physically than I have since I was in middle school - and feel (mostly) good while doing it.

So, yeah. Mostly good things (chin not included).

And oh! Here's a really good thing: to mark the occasion of my first ever surgiversary, Joe got me a little silver scale charm for the bracelet he gave me at Christmas. (He also got me a book charm, as an overdue congratulations gift for SWEET LIFE's pub date.)

Best. Fiance. EVER.

Hope everyone has a great Labor Day weekend! I'm off to labor right now in our bonus room, which is in desperate need of purging and sorting.


P.S. I posted updated progress pictures on my Facebook page, but they're accessible by friends only. At least, they're supposed to be.

Today is Tuesday, and my to-do list has literally 19 items scheduled. Obviously, there's no way I'll be able to complete all 19; for every task as simple as "reorder Humira," there are two more complicated, multi-step ones like "clean bathroom" and "finish Sara's blog questionnaire [for the First Novels Club group blog]."

One item NOT on my to-do list is "answer e-mail," but it should be at the top. This morning I had roughly 240 e-mails languishing on my main account, many of which should've been answered in (wait for it) fall of 2008. But, Sept. 4th of last year was when I had my gastric bypass surgery, so there's about a nine-week span just before and mostly after where a lot of e-mails didn't get responses. Some started to - a quick perusal of my "Mail Waiting to Be Sent" folder had NINE partial drafts that I never finished - and oh, it's bad. Really, really bad.

The most ironic part of all of this is that, prior to e-mail's assimilation (as a form of communication, I mean), I used to love to write letters. WRITE, not type. Handwritten letters on cute paper placed in envelopes with stamps chosen to match the theme of the letter or some form of "envelope art" treatment I'd given it (when one friend was in school in Wisconsin, I used to send letters two to three times a week, each one with increasingly complicated envelope art - the best of which was an acrylic rendition Disney's THE FOX AND THE HOUND). I even wrote an article for the News Journal back in 1998 about how letter writing was dying, the main focus of which was a man who wrote letters to several pen pals every single day of his life, and who'd saved stacks and stacks of them over the decades.

Now, in homage to my former passion for penmanship, I still try to send hand-written thank you notes versus e-mailed ones, and whenever I send someone something (like, um, a copy of my new book), I always include a little notecard specifically for the recipient. This is why I have about 25 books that need to go out in the mail, most already nestled into the boxes/envelopes they will be shipped in, eagerly awaiting their notecards and address labels. The address labels can be printed; the notes cannot. But the thought of handwriting all 25 in a single stretch scares me and my right hand, which isn't used to doing so much writing. I even grade papers electronically these days, because my letters get so messy that students can't decipher my comments without me reading them out loud.

It used to be that e-mail saved you time, energy, and postage. But these days, all forms of electronic communcation overwhelm me (another reason I am anti-Twitter at the moment). In addition to the 240 unanswered e-mails on my main account, I have nearly 300 on my "paying bills/applying to offers/registering for web sites" account, most of which are spam but some are actually important and in need of archiving. There are about 27 unanswered e-mails piled up on Facebook, five of which belong to an old friend from high school who I reconnected with briefly last month before my personal life got overly complicated and I dropped off the planet for 21 days.

Here's the problem, though: I've spent several hours this morning answering/archiving upwards of 70 messages. Out of those 70, I know at least 50 will prompt a response from the receiver, and out of those 50, I'll probably need to respond again to 35 or more of them. Which means that I end up fulfilling only about 50% of the unanswered mail, and that doesn't take into account fresh, unexpected e-mail that will arrive today/this week/this month. This is how I got backed up to 240 to begin with, though earlier in August I peaked at 290 unanswered.

If I sound like I'm whining, then I'm sorry, because this isn't my intention. I think I'm honestly baffled by how backlogged everything is, and how no matter how many hours I put into correcting the issue, I never fully get ahead. Once again, this makes me wonder how the writers I admire - writers far more prolific and successful than I am, many of whom have children - manage to handle this much e-mail in addition to their writing and familial obligations. Even if I cut out all TV/Wii time, that will still only buy me an additional 2-4 hours a day. Which would probably help with the e-mail, but wouldn't leave a lot of time leftover for reading/commenting on other people's blogs - something I've been largely neglecting for the past couple of years.

I used to get really annoyed when people would respond to an e-mail I sent by calling me. Hello? I e-mailed you; clearly I don't have the time and/or desire to actually TALK to you. But now, I get it. I so get it. Because I have several friends who prefer e-mails to phone calls, and keeping up with them requires more energy than I often have. I can sort mail, do dishes, and walk the dog while I'm on the phone with someone without any of those tasks taking my attention away from whoever I'm talking to. But I can't really multi-task while e-mailing, can I? Plus, there's something really lovely about the personal connection actually TALKING to someone brings, versus reading a bunch of characters on a screen that makes my eyes hurt at the end of each day. And don't get me started on texting. For those of us without QWERTY keyboarded phones and unlimited texting plans, text messaging is EVIL. Not to mention annoying. I feel kind of bitter that my current search for a new phone/cell plan requires me to obtain a QWERTY keyboard and generous texting plan, but not doing so would cause more problems because my mother, my aunt, my two best friends, some women from my writing group ALL RELY ON THE TEXTING. Even my fiance has been known to send love texts on occasion, though he cheats and e-mails them to my phone (thereby having the QWERTY luxury I so do not).

[Note to self: name next dog QWERTY. Really cute name for a dog, yes?]

As I've been typing this post, which I'm too harried to spell-check, I've heard four more "new e-mail" pings. Which means I should probably wrap up and go see who I'll be unintentionally blowing off next, or if the required responses are brief enough to zip off now, while I'm in answer mode.

*sigh*

The fiction writing workshop I lead at the Brandywine YMCA has moved to Thursdays starting this fall. The six sessions run from 10/1 to 11/5, from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m., and registration is open to full members as of TODAY!

For a more complete description of the class, as well as instructions on how to enroll, click here.

VERY busy week ahead, so I must get back to work!

From Booklist:

Even though her father is a famous French chef and her mother runs a demonstration kitchen, where chefs cook for an audience, Stella is insistent that she “never will be a foodie.” Then she lands an internship at Baltimore’s Daily Journal. Her beat? Restaurant reviews. Luckily, her mother’s gorgeous new assistant, Jeremy, seems willing to help guide her through her first assignments, and soon Stella is trying to reconcile her huge crush on Jeremy with her growing ambivalence about Max, her adoring boyfriend. Adding to Stella’s confusion, her parents, still married but long separated, begin new romances of their own. With the exception of a few implausible points (Would a newspaper really give a high-school intern so much responsibility?), this novel, both poignant and funny, offers plenty of rich substance beneath the surface froth of summer romance. The specifics of foodie culture add satisfying texture, but it’s Zeises’ precise grasp of everyday teen concerns, from the headaches of negotiating rides to the excitement of discovering one’s talents, that young readers will appreciate most. - Gillian Engberg

Yay for Booklist liking the novel, even if there was a small, mostly inconsequential error (no Baltimore paper for Stella, though I once interned at the Baltimore Sun). Also found it interesting that this is the first review to question Stella's role at her internship, which is something my editor and I grappled with a couple of times. In an earlier draft, she actually had even more responsibility, which was based on my own experience at the Wilmington News Journal, where I filled in for a style beat reporter out on maternity leave. However, I was a recent college graduate at the time, and had a few years of experience under my belt. Even so, Jodi and I felt like the fact that Stella's editor was capitalizing on her name and the local celebrity of her parents meant that they would give her a little more to do than the average high school intern. Something to chew over (no pun intended).

Lastly: was in the middle of notifying the winners of the 50 Book Giveaway last Saturday when I got dragged away by Major Life Stuff - and never had a chance to finish up over the course of the weekend. It's on the docket for tomorrow, as is prepping packages to send, answering blog interviews (sorry Sara!), and attending my friend Emmett's first-ever Comic Book House Party (Joe sweetly keeps referring to it as ComicCon, because he doesn't actually know what that is). At any rate, if you submitted an entry for the giveaway but didn't hear back from me, you will in a few days.

Now, off to finish paying this month's bills, clean the bathroom, and (ahem) pull together the last of the receipts for my 2008 taxes. (I know, I know. Procrastication is my middle name.)

Yesterday started out bad, bad, bad - but by sundown, I'd found out that SWEET LIFE will represent at this year's National Book Festival, that Celebrity Kitchens is planning on hosting a special SWEET LIFE-themed dinner using ONE OF MY MENUS FROM THE BOOK, and that they're also offering a very generous $15 off coupon to readers at tomorrow's launch party.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

So, the first thing: there's this Pavillion of the States at the National Book Festival, which last year saw 150,000 people attend. Representives from each state are in this pavillion (hence the name), promoting literacy projects and the like. But there's also this really cool feature that's meant for kids/teens, but supposedly gets adults just as amped, called "Discover Great Places Through Reading." There's a map that lists book recommendations - one from each state - and people who take the map to each state's booth receive a sticker or a stamp to mark that they've been there. Long story short: every state picks ONE title each year, either set in that state or by an author from their state, to represent that state in the pavillion. This year? The Delaware Center for the Book has chosen THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON. It gets its own little display and everything. And, as Joe pointed out, this is the first year the Obama/Biden administration has been in place during the Nat'l Book Festival - so my book is representing the HOME STATE of our VERY ESTEEMED V.P. on Saturday, September 26th!

Woot!

The Celebrity Kitchens thing: those of you who've read SWEET LIFE (which I normally refer to as STELLA in short hand - but since everyone else calls it SWEET LIFE I figure I better start doing it, too) know that each of the chapters begins with a menu, either from Stella's mom's business, which is modeled after Celebrity Kitchens, or from some other dining establishment (including the cafeteria of the fictionalized Daily Journal, based on Delaware's own News Journal, in which every selection has chicken. Because, you know, Delaware is the only state that, per capita, has more chickens than people. Or at least it did the year I graduated from college, when Tom Carper gave a speach that was a thousand times better than the journalist who gave the keynote, and who rambled on for forty minutes about some green sweater she either wore or lost when she visited Paris a zillion years before that). ANYWAY, the Open Kitchen's menus are so totally inspired by the menus the chefs at CK offer up every month, and now, at a soon-to-be-determined date in October, CK will host this SWEET LIFE dinner using one of my menus. Which is, like, crazy cool. Even better? I get to be there, talking about things like writing about food and using Delaware as my setting. Which means that I GET TO EAT THIS FANTASY MENU I CREATED. Seriously - how freaking cool is that? (I promise to post more details as they become available!)

Cindy and Angela, the women who own CK, are also offering launch party attendees a $15 off coupon for a future reservation (fine print: cannot be combined with any other offers, cannot be used for kids events or private parties). This in addition to incredibly delectable and COMPLETELY FREE cupcakes from Cupcake Heaven. Sa-woon!

And now, because it's sunny and not humid and everything that I do not hate about summer, I have to go and do my chores and stuff because I'm determined to hit the pool this morning. Joe and I went last night and there's this crazy fun water slide that makes me want to run away to Wild Water Kingdom, like, STAT. Plus, it's been rainy and hot and thickly muggy here for the past two weeks, but last night we were able to sleep with the A/C off and the windows wide open. Ahh, bliss!

Hope to see a lot of you locals at Saturday's party! Which brings me to ....

Obligatory reading reminder: this Saturday, 2 p.m., Borders in Newark (not the one at the mall, but the one near Toys R Us), launch party for THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON with FREE CUPCAKES by Cupcake Heaven and a special appearance by Cindy Weiner, co-owner of Celebrity Kitchens (the real-life inspiration behind Stella's mom's Open Kitchen), who'll be offering a discount coupon for readers of the book!

Obligatory contest reminder:LAST FOUR DAYS to enter the 50-BOOK GIVEAWAY.:

I was exceedingly happy to receive so many responses to my query about writing schedules (keep 'em coming in, please!). A couple of friends suggested that one way to stay the course was to form a group of accountability - kind of like people often do when they start a new health plan together. Only, this is for writing health. Or something.

Then I got this link through a SparkPeople.com e-mail alert to a great article about the Do's and Don'ts of Goal Setting. SparkPeople is a great site that I started using heavily as I was preparing for my gastric bypass surgery last summer. You can do all sorts of things there, like track your daily calories, water intake, and exercise; chart your weight loss progress; and read tons of great info about everything from healthy eats for cheap to the perfect squat routine to give you a bikini butt.

Anyway, even though the article was about setting goals for improved health, I was thinking that this sound a lot like the kind of advice I've given my students about setting effective writing goals. For instance, one tip encourages you to start small - that by focusing on one thing at a time, you won't get overwhelmed by longer-reaching goals. Another says to "write it down" with a deadline in place. I think my favorite tip, though is the one about being specific. Instead of saying things like, "I will get SOME exercise" (or, in this case, "I will write MORE each day"), you should make your target clearer, as in, "I will write 1,000 words a day." Also stressed? Cutting back on using absolute words like "never" or "always," which can lead to setbacks and/or feelings of failure.

So: my goal for the weekend? Set writing goals for the week of August 10th. (Liz, Susan - are you with me?)

Obligatory reading reminder: this Saturday, 2 p.m., Borders in Newark (not the one at the mall, but the one near Toys R Us), launch party for THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON with FREE CUPCAKES by Cupcake Heaven!

THIS JUST IN: Celebrity Kitchens, the real-life inspiration for Stella's mom's business, will be providing discount coupons at the event! (More info on that - and a super-special event - to come ...)

Obligatory contest reminder: you still have five days to enter the 50-BOOK GIVEAWAY.

You know how I'm on my neverending quest for creating a more structured writing life? This is becoming absolutely imperative, as the summer is rapidly dwindling away and I return to my teaching duties at UD come Sept. 1.

So, for all of you writers out there, I pose the following questions:

1. What does your typical writing day look like?

2. What kind of goals do you have for a given day? Page counts? Word counts? Chapters?

3. How much time do you devote to A) e-mails, B) blogging, C) reading other people's blogs, D) Facebooking, E) Twittering, and F) marketing?

4. What limits do you impose upon yourself to make sure you're maximizing creativity?

5. Where do you write? Do you find it easier to do it outside of the home?

Thanking you all in advance for this!

ALSO:

Obligatory reading reminder: this Saturday, 2 p.m., Borders in Christiana, launch party for THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON with FREE CUPCAKES by Cupcake Heaven!

Obligatory contest reminder: you still have four days to enter the 50-BOOK GIVEAWAY. Aw, fudge it. You can have until Monday, August 10th, at 11:59 p.m. (I am so digging on all of the recipe entries I've been getting, and can't wait to post them soon!)

Feel free to post info about the reading/contest on your blogs!

FINALLY:

Have to give a HUGE shout-out to Little Willow, who not only rocked out my web redesign, but posted this really fun, thoughtful interview with me on her blog. LW, you are the absolute bestest EVER.

Is it me, or does Taylor Momsen totally look like Courtney Love Jr. here?

I don't know what that girl is on, but if I were her parents, I'd find out STAT.

So, remember how I said that there was going to be a really fun reading/signing for THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON at the Borders in Christiana (DE) on Saturday, August 8, at 2 p.m.? And remember how I said there were going to be cupcakes? Well, not only are there going to be cupcakes at the celebration, there are going to be the BEST CUPCAKES IN DELAWARE.

That's right - Concord Pike's own Cupcake Heaven is providing 120 of their delectable goodies in an assortment of flavors. Have you DE locals visited Cupcake Heaven yet? If not, you need to get your butt over there STAT. When I say they have the best cupcakes in Delaware, I mean they have the BEST cupcakes in Delaware. You may have heard me rant about icing in posts past; I tend to be super picky about it because most buttercreams taste like Crisco to me. But their icing - oh my WORD. Not too sweet, not too fatty, just the right amount of deliciousness.

The perfect way to celebrate a book with the word SWEET in the title, yes?

Speaking of "sweet" - don't forget that about the 50 BOOK GIVEAWAY I'm running through midnight, August 8th!

In other, more random news: I've been getting a lot of fan e-mail from readers abroad. Seems the Dutch translation of TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A HOLLYWOOD STARLET - or, DESIGNERJURKJE VS SPIJKERBROEK as it's known in the Netherlands (Babelfish seemed to think this mean "Designerjurke the US Nail Trousers," but a loyal Dutch reader informed me that it really means "Designer Dress vs. Jeans") - anyway, apparently the Dutch LOVE Morgan Carter, which I find both fascinating and really, really cool. A French translation of STARLET is due out soon - I'm going to be posting the covers of all of the foreign translations on my site at some point in the near future, because they're adorable and I still think it's hysterical that teens can read my words in other languages.

Another fun STARLET factoid: earlier this summer, when I was working on content for the new web site, I came across a Wikipedia entry for the Lifetime adaptation of STARLET that claimed mysterious "sources" had "confirmed" that a sequel to the movie was in production, and that JoJo was set to star. I e-mailed the Jody, the film agent for the project, and he directed me to Barbara Lieberman, the original movie's producer. She confirmed that there wasn't a sequel in the works (though she said she wished there was, which was nice of her to say). So, I made my first-ever edit to a Wikipedia page, under the section titled "Sequel," which you can read here. (The plot synopsis is NOT my handiwork, and I'm embarassed to say it's riddled with spelling errors and just plain bad writing. Of course, this is coming from a girl who barely remembers to spell-check her own blog, so ... take my criticism with a grain of salt.)

ANYWAY, I must return my full attention to STELLA. And here's where I pose a question: for those of you who have already read the book, do you have any thoughts on which scenes I should do at the reading? I'm thinking part of the first chapter, part of the party scene, and definitely the gnocchi scene (because seriously? I know I shouldn't say this about my own book but I think the gnocchi scene is HOTT).

Up soon: a very special episode of RECIPE OF THE WEEK! (Hint: it may have something to do with gnocchi ...)

Since today is the Day of Many Appointments (count: 3 doctors, 1 dog groomer, 1 Mom visit, 1 trip to Trader Joe's - and all by 7:10 p.m.), I only have a few seconds for today's post. So, I'm hereby linking to a section on my new website, in which I explain the inspiration behind THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON, as well as how writing the book re-inspired me.

ALSO: Want to remind you all to check out the 50 BOOK GIVEAWAY I've got going from now through 12 a.m. August 8th.

Finally, I have to link to Liz B.'s review of STELLA, posted on her awesome-sauce blog, "A Chair, A Fireplace, & a Tea Cozy," which has been one of my favorites thus far. And it's not because I know Liz, even though I do. It's because whenever Liz reviews something I've written, I get that flush of warmth authors tend to feel when they encounter someone who fully "gets" what they were going for in a given book. Nearly every point Liz makes in her review is something that was super important to me in the writing process. So, yeah. Liz, if you're reading this - you freaking ROCK.

Off to Doctor #1!

Forwarded from my friend Wendy, who got it from her mom. This is almost as classic as the viral video that went around last year where the couple turned their first dance into a mashup of songs from the eighties ....



(And since I'm pretty sure YouTube embeds don't transfer to Facebook, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEh3Z56v8UQ.)

In honor of my new release, THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON, my publisher, Delacorte Press, donated 10 leftover galley copies to give away through some sort of blog contest. To sweeten the pot, I'm adding in 15 of my backlist titles, and 25 random titles by other authors (some classic, some new, some not yet released). If you're keeping count, that's a 50-book giveaway!

Let's get to it, shall we?

CONTEST #1: STELLA GIVEAWAY

From now until midnight, August 8, 2009 Monday, August 10th, at 11:59 p.m., send me an e-mail to zeisgeist (at) aol (dot) com. In the subject line, type STELLA GIVEAWAY.

In the body of the e-mail, type your name, age, location, occupation (if you have one - student is fine), and a few fun facts about youself.

Also in the body of the e-mail, or attached as a Word doc, I need one of your favorite family recipes, with a paragraph or two about how or why this recipe has become a family favorite. If you have a picture of the dish, send that along to. [NOTE: if this is not an original dish - say, something you've borrowed from Paula Deen but adapted to make you own - make sure you give credit where credit is due. In this case, credit would be, "adapted from Paula Deen, NAME OF BOOK OR SHOW, 2006."

Ten winners will receive personally autographed copies of STELLA, but the top five will also have their culinary contributions posted on my "Recipe of the Week" feature in the near future!

CONTEST #2: BACKLIST GIVEAWAY

If you've already purchased STELLA, but still want in on the fun, here's what you do:

Write an original review of STELLA - something comprehensive, more than just "oh hey i liked it" - and post that review through outlets like IndieBook.org, Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, your personal blog, Facebook, GoodReads.com, a message board system, etc., etc. For every five outlets you hit, you are elligible to win one personally autographed copy of any of my backlist titles - BRINGING UP THE BONES, CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE, and ANYONE BUT YOU.

Then, now until midnight, August 8, 2009 Monday, August 10th, at 11:59 p.m., send me an e-mail to zeisgeist (at) aol (dot) com. In the subject line, type BACKLIST GIVEAWAY.

In the body of the e-mail, type your name, age, location, occupation (if you have one - student is fine), and a few fun facts about youself.

Also in the body of the e-mail, include links to the online reviews that you've posted. That's all there is to it!

This contest will remain open until I've given away five copies of each of those three (BONES, CONTENTS, ANYONE) titles (that's 15 books total).

CONTEST #3: BIG MAMA GIVEAWAY

If you've already added all of my Lara titles to your personal library, and are looking to expand a bit, then this last contest is for you. From nnow until midnight, August 8, 2009 Monday, August 10th, at 11:59 p.m., send me an e-mail to zeisgeist (at) aol (dot) com. In the subject line, type BIG MAMA GIVEAWAY.

In the body of the e-mail, type your name, age, location, occupation (if you have one - student is fine), and a few fun facts about youself.

Next, e-mail me a picture or scan of the receipt that shows you purchased STELLA recently. This will become your entry into a drawing to win 25 YA titles from MY personal library - as in, by authors other than me. The one caveat? If you receive a book in this grab bag that you've already read or own, or have no interest in reading/owning, you must promise to either a) donate it to your local library or b) pass it on to a friend who will appreciate it.

Please feel free to repost to your blogs, Facebook pages, etc., etc. to get the word out.

Enjoy!

[Here's where I need to add a little fine print: all three contests are open to readers 12 and up, but all must be residents of the United States - a shipping clause my publisher asked me to include. Also, Contest #3 was inspired by something my friend Elizabeth Scott recently ran on her web site. And oh! And I have to point out that my friend Laurie Faria Stolarz is running her own contest to give away an ARC of her hotly anticipated prequel to the Blue is for Nightmares series, BLACK IS FOR BEGINNINGS. It's a graphic novel! And looks really freaking awesome!]

So you may have heard me talking about this little book I wrote called THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON. It actually came out about nine days ago, on July 14th, but my Internetz went on the fritz and my laptop was all messed up and life generally Got In The Way.

But.

STELLA is finally out, yay! Feedback thus far has been the kind to put a smile on my face; Kirkus and SLJ loved it, and most of the buzz from the blogosphere has been positive. I'll post a roundup next week, and ...

Tune in tomorrow, when I announce a Very Big Contest that involves food, family, and FREE BOOKS. Yum, yay, and double yay!

Also: if you haven't had a chance to check out my lovely new web site, please do so. It was designed/executed by Little Willow of Rock the Rock, and I'm so in love with it. My last site had too many bells and whistles - this one is going to be all about content, delivered cleanly and in a nice, easy-to-read fonty fashion. There are some special features to come - you didn't think I'd forget about my soundtracks, did you? - but because of that whole life-getting-in-the-way thing, content will be rolled out slowly over the next couple of months. (And yes, I'm aware of the typos. They will be corrected, I assure you.)

FINALLY: for you local Delawareans, I'll be doing a reading/signing/Q&A/cupcake-tastic launch party for STELLA on Saturday, August 8, at 2 p.m., at the Borders in Christiana (the one by Toys R Us, not the one in the mall).  I haven't done a local bookstore reading since my first novel, BRINGING UP THE BONES, was published in 2002 (how did THAT happen?  Not the book, but the whole not-doing-a-DE-bookstore-reading-in-six-and-a-half-years thing), so I'd love to really pack the place.  (Are the cupcakes any enticement?  Because there will be, as I mentioned, cupcakes.  Hopefully in many fun, exotic flavors.)

More tomorrow ....

So, yesterday on Facebook I announced that Joe and I had officially decided to postpone our wedding until October 2010. This was really more for the benefit of my close friends and family than the general public, but since my LiveJournal posts feed into my Facebook page, I figured I'd elaborate here for their benefit as well. (I say all of this because I don't want anyone thinking that I think information about our upcoming nuptuals is Big News or anything remotely close to that, because it's not and I don't.)

Anyway.

The long and the short of it is this: the current economic climate has left us in a financial pinch that would make it difficult to pull off even a small, intimate wedding and semi-fabulous honeymoon in Mexico. We've chewed this over every which way we can, and it's just not happening. We found ourselves making compromises that felt uncomfortable, like cutting our best friends' spouses from the guest list just so we could meet a smaller quota. We even brainstormed alternatives to taking the Mexican honeymoon, like the possibility of a quaint road trip to Myrtle Beach or some such instead. After hours and days and weeks of discussing all of these compromises, we realized that there was no plan that would make us truly happy. Which is why, despite the fact that it's already been a year since we got engaged, we decided it was in everyone's best interest if we push the wedding back to fall of next year.

The upside: Joe and I have chosen 10/10/10 as our new wedding date. Joe's really into numbers and codes, and in binary, 101010 = 42. Fans of Douglas Adams will recognize the significance immediately, but for the uninitiated, you should check out this Wiki entry here. A fall wedding also opens a lot more possibilities than a winter one; for instance, we can now hold the ceremony outdoors (something that wouldn't be wise in February). And the biggest boon of all is that it gives us more time to save up for the wedding/honeymoon we truly want, instead of something we're just settling for.

Anyway, yeah. Nothing too terribly sexy about the story, and obviously we're not thrilled about waiting another 15 months to officially become husband and wife. But at the same time, we don't HAVE to tie the knot anytime soon; it was a preference more than a necessity.

As to why I've been off the grid for a few days: I'm swamped. It's been a couple of years since I've had to usher a new book into this world, and I'd forgotten how completely exhausting all of the prep is. My web site overhaul should've gotten started months ago, but per usual, I was Last-Minute Lara, and am only just getting the last bits of content needed to slayground today. This for a site we're relaunching on Monday, in anticipation of THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON's Tuesday release.

But finally - finally! - the bulk of the work is almost complete, and I think I might actually get to have a non-working weekend for a change.

Squee!

I may have mentioned I'm working on a relaunch of zeisgeist.com - it's not up yet, but the first stage will go live on Monday (the day before THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON debuts!). Well, since my last web redesign and this one, a little site called Playlist.com came along. Which means that my book soundtracks can now be imbedded directly on my site. This isn't revolutionary - lots of authors do this now - but when I first started creating soundtracks for my books, they were a bit of a novelty, and I'd get lots of reader e-mail asking me to upload the songs. Since that is (cough) illegal, the best I could do was link to an iTunes playlist that they could then purchase, should they desire. But now - NOW - there's Playlist.com. Only, I can't find every song from my original soundtracks on there, especially the one for BRINGING UP THE BONES, which was published in fall 2002.

So there are some substitutions, but the essence of each soundtrack is essentially the same. Tonight I was actually finalizing the one for BONES, and oh my god, suddenly it was like I was 26 all over again. Hence the subject heading "musical time capsule." What strikes me is how incredibly sad the playlist is, and how, even after all of these years, I still tear up whenever I hear Edie Brickell's "He Said," Tori Amos's "China," and the acoustic version of Colin Hay's "Overkill." (Oddly enough, the acoustic version was playing in BJs yesterday, which totally caught me of guard. I mean, hello! One minute I'm picking up a six pack of black beans and the next I'm fighting back the weepies.)

Anyway, here it is, in all of its heartbreaking glory:

In my neverending quest to become more organized and efficient, I thought that this week I'd take a page from my fiance's book and start by making a daily schedule the evening before. Joe's been trying to get into a routine that will help him remember everything he needs to remember each morning before work and get him out of the door at least 15 to 30 minutes early every day. His schedule actually starts in the evenings, when he does things like put his wallet and keys in his work shoes, lays out his clothes for the next day, packs his lunch, and preps the coffee maker. It's been working really well for him, so last night as we watched a few WEEDS eps on the DVR, I penciled out a schedule for my Monday.

The thing is, Joe's schedules mostly cover the hour and forty-five minutes before he leaves for work and the hour and a half before he goes to bed. He's got a desk job, one with regular hours and duties, and his priority list there changes at a moment's notice. Because I work from home, I don't normally have to report in anywhere by a certain time, or worry about beating rush hour traffic, or dress myself in anything other than what basically amounts to PJs - like the baggy Elvis t-shirt I refuse to give up, even though it's three sizes too big, and the workout pants that used to fit me like leggings but now barely stay on my waist. Unlike Joe, who hops into the shower each day between 7:15 and 7:20, I can postpone my shower until after, say, my 8 - 8:45 a.m. yoga session. It's nice, having that kind of freedom, but also kind of ... well, overwhelming. I mean, my daily to-do lists (previously my lone stab at organization/efficiency) often have 17 items on them, more than half of which usually get cut and pasted onto the next day's list. It's so easy to think you'll spend 45 minutes reading/answering e-mail, only to have three and half hours fly by just like that.

So last night, after making my schedule and powering down the laptop for the night, and counting how many ounces of water consumed that day (76, if you're wondering), I felt good. Like, really good. I had a schedule! I was prepared to kick time management's butt!

But of course, my schedule was predicated on waking up the same time the alarm went off for Joe - a fact I neglected to mention to him. So while 6:30 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. read something like this:

Wake up, vitamins, wash face/brush teeth, pour first glass of H20

I didn't, um, even get out of bed until 6:57 a.m.

No worries, I told myself. This is why I'd given myself half an hour to accomplish five tasts that shouldn't take more than 10 minutes total. Since I was already so behind schedule, I made the executive decision to skip the face-washing, which I then moved to the 9 a.m. shower block.

But then Scout needed to go out, which is something Joe normally does at 6:45 but didn't today because Scout, like me, overslept. When I got back in, it was already 7:11 a.m. - 10 minutes into the hour when I was supposed to "write blog, read e-mail." (Oops! Forgot that e-mail part. Pausing to read.)

And there's no no e-mail, because it's only 7:26 a.m. as I type this sentence and I always check my in-box before bed. So, that's definitely a part of the schedule that will need to be tweaked.

What to do, what to do?

Another problem with today's schedule is that, even though I left myself large blocks of time for certain tasks (like 11 a.m. to 12 p.m., the hour in which I am to "prep packages and decide how best to mail"), I didn't quite count on waking up all zombified. If I'd gone to bed at 11:45 p.m. the night before, as planned, then I might have risen with the alarm, fresh as a daisy and ready to conquer the day.

As it was, Joe and I got sucked into our mini WEEDS marathon, and he didn't even head off to sleep until 12:45 p.m. himself. Then I made the mistake of flipping through EW before turning in, and read that EUREKA, a show that we both really like, returns to the Syfy (formerlly Sci Fi) Channel Friday night. I figured that I better set the DVR right then so I wouldn't forget, but even before I could press "record," the blue glow of the television transfixed me. I thought, "Hey, if I watch THE NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR tonight, I won't be tempted to tomorrow, like during my 9:45 a.m. to 11 a.m. block ear-marked for 'phone calls, breakfast, pull[ing] recipes for the week, Shoprite list, coupons.'"

And this was how I found myself dragging my butt into bed at the completely unsanctioned, unscheduled time of 2:10 a.m., because of course, after THE NEXT FOOD NETWORK STAR, I couldn't resist the pull of the season premiere of RUBY, recorded earlier that evening. Also, staying up past midnight usually requires a small snack (your body knows it's supposed to be asleep, after all, and if you won't let it, then by god, you better give it some fuel!). So after my crackers-and-cheese fix, there had to be a second round of teeth brushing, further delaying my nighty-night.

So now it's 7:39 a.m., and I'm still moving as slowly as a hungover frat boy on Sunday morning (metaphorically, not literally). And there's nothing really stopping me from crawling back into bed and catching a couple more hours of snooze time. No set appointments, no places I need to be by X a.m. Just an optimistic schedule, scrawled on a 4" x 6" notebook around 11 p.m. last night.

This is where the bargaining begins: Did I really need to leave myself 45 minutes for "protein drink/make bed"? Will it really take me another 45 to "shower/dress"? Even if I lotion every inch of every limb after I towel off, the most time I need for those tasks is, like, twenty minutes, right?

The schedule, clearly, will be a work in progress. Because I know - not just think but actually know - that if I don't get some more shut eye, there's no way I'll be able to make it through my 3 p.m. energy crash. Which is crucial, because the 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. block is devoted to the revamp of my web site.

Oh, well. At least I wrote this blog post while downing 14 ounces of water - and in that regards, I'm at least 6 minutes ahead of schedule.*

*yawn*


*Actually, after hyperlinking all of the TV shows, it's more like 2 minutes ahead of schedule.

Yes! Last night I received this recipe from Cindy Dobrez, librarian extraordinaire, who has encouraged me to keep up with my blueberry recipe streak. I haven't tried this yet but am planning on doing it over the weekend. It sounds like the perfect complement to your family's Independence Day feastivities. Thanks, Cindy!

Cindy's Cooked Blueberry Pie Thing

INGREDIENTS

Cookie Crumb Shell*

1 1/3 cup finely crushed vanilla wafer cookies
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon good vanilla
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Blueberry Filling*

4 cups blueberries (fresh would work best), divided
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
3 tablespoons corn starch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)
1 teaspoon fresh-squeezed lemon juice (optional)
1 tablespoon fresh grated lemon zest (optional)
1 8 oz. package of regular cream cheese, softened
1 cup confectioner's (powdered) sugar

PREPARATION

Cookie Crumb Shell

Adjust oven rack to center and preheat to 350 F.

Butter the inside bottom ONLY of a 9-inch pie pan (do not butter the sides or the shell will slump).

In a medium-sized bowl, combine the cookie crumbs, sugar, and vanilla. Add the butter and toss until the crumbs are evenly coated.

Turn the mixture into the prepared pie pan. Scatter the crumbs so that they are evenly distributed and press onto bottom and up sides to make an even shell. Bake for 8 minutes, or until set and just barely beginning to brown. Cool to room temperature on a rack.

Blueberry Filling

In a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan, cook 2 cups of the berries with the sugar, water, corn starch, and salt over medium heat. Cook until thick, stirring occasionally. Remove from stove, stir in remaining uncooked blueberries, and, if desired, the cinnamon and lemon juice or zest (but not both!). Let mixture cool slightly.

While the blueberry mixture is cooling, mix softened cream cheese with confectioner's sugar until well incorporated (a hand or stand mixer would be really helpful here). Spread this over the bottom of the cookie crumb shell. Make sure shell has cooled enough, or this will be quite difficult!

Pour blueberry mixture over cream cheese layer. Refrigerate until ready to serve!


* Crust recipe from Jim Fobel's OLD-FASHIONED BAKING BOOK, which Cindy says is "so worth buying ... it has family photos and great anecdotes in addition to fab recipes that use butter - gasp! - and no low-fat products. If you're going to eat dessert, by God, eat DESSERT!"

** Filling recipe from Cindy's blueberry farmer neighbor, Deb Madl

[NOTE FROM CINDY: This is probably my favorite pie. ... I usually make this with a glazed strawberry pie (also in the Fobel cookbook) for a red, white, and blue holiday dessert table. Enjoy!]

[NOTE FROM LARA: As I said, I haven't made this yet, but I would think about adding a heavy pinch of salt to both the crust and the filling. Salt tends to bring out the sweetness in desserts, even if that sounds counter-intuitive. Also, I'd definitely opt for the zest over the juice - just from making my baked blueberry French toast I can tell you that the zest melts into the mixture in such a way that you can't even notice it - as Joe says, it adds this bit of "brightness" that you can't quite put your finger on until you taste it without that ingredient.]

More spirited debate going on over at John Green's blog about a book's advance vs. its marketing budget. Really fascinating stuff, for anyone even tangentially related to the book biz.

RECIPE OF THE WEEK - coming up later today; just need to make some edits to the fabulous Slow Cooker Pork Pozole I made yesterday (YUM!).

And now for the other thing (if you're reading this over at Facebook, you may want to avert your eyes, though there's nothing graphic here so much as a recommendation for a good girly parts doc in the area):

( Cut in case you're so not interested in anything having to do with  )

I got my MFA in creative writing eight years ago. Prior to enrolling in the MFA program at Emerson College, I owed something like $8k in student loans. Total. My payments, which I had to start making immediately after receiving said MFA, were $150/mo.

Then the grad student loans kicked in, and my loan company told me that just to keep up with the interest, I'd need to be making $400/mo. payments. This was on about $68k of student loans, which at the time, was almost as big as a mortgage on a small condo in a not-so-nice, but not-so-terrible area of Wilmington, DE.

Um. Yeah.

I was living in a $500/mo. rented condo in a much nicer part of Wilmington, desperately trying to find a job in the post-9-11 market. This is when I first started teaching part-time at UD. I ran through my savings pretty quickly, and by fall was teaching six classes across three different campuses. I also got a case of bronchitis that lasted five weeks, and nearly had a nervous breakdown.

I utilized deferments on my loans, because at least some of them were subsidized by the government - meaning, they paid the interest for me. I kept making payments, even if I could only send in $250/mo., because I didn't want this to come crushing down on me later. During the two years I lived with my parents, saving up for my house, I made really big payments on my loans that knocked out about $4k of the principle while still keeping the interest down. This is also when I managed to squirrel away $10k for my house, pay off my car, and pay down my credit cards enormously. All this while still giving my parents some money toward utilities, groceries, and paying the rent on a storage unit we shared, while also keeping up with my own personal bills, like the loan, the credit cards, the cell phone, and insurance. It didn't hurt that I was signing a lot of contracts during this time, and getting nice chunks of money, which I wisely used for all of the above and my yearly max contribution to an IRA.

After moving into the house, I began to realize how expensive being a homeowner actually was. It didn't hit me until the first summer I lived there, when I wasn't pulling a regular paycheck from UD, had no book money due to me, and couldn't find a part-time job to help bridge the gap until fall. I didn't have any kind of deferments left, but because I'd paid down so much on the principle, the loan company considered that my "monthly payment," and over the past three years, they've been eating steadily away at all of that progress i made years ago.

Earlier this month I called to find out when my "montly payments" would run out. Thankfully, because I have been able to make some chunk payments during this three years of homeownership, I won't begin owing a real payment until October of this year. Which gave me some time to figure out how I was going to cough up $427/mo. toward this insane debt. That's more than half of my mortgage. That's Joe's student loan payment, our car insurance, and our cable/phone/Internet package combined.

I did some digging, and that's when I found out about this new Income-Based Repayment plan, which goes into effect this summer - in fact, you can officially apply for the program as of today. It was designed to help people like me not find themselves in a financial sinkhole from pursuing a higher education. Under this plan, the loan company cannot ask for more than a certain percentage of your income. This also means that on your credit report, your IBR monthly payment would be listed as what you owe them against the total of your debt. (For instance, currently my credit report shows that I owe $427/mo. to my student loans, which really screws up my income to debt ratio.) The best part? If you haven't paid off the total of your loan in 25 years, the rest gets excused. Period. End of discussion.

Even better news for people who work in the public sector, like teachers and social workers and lawyers who opt for Legal Aid over a cushy corporate position. Their loan gets forgiven within 10 years. This is so that people who choose to work in the helping professions don't get penalized for making that decision.

I used the handy-dandy calculator on the IBR info page, and under this new plan, my monthy payments work out to a whopping $50/mo (roughly). Which is more than doable; in fact, I could probably make $100/mo. payments, if I knew it was going to get me somewhere down the line. Currently, sending $100 into a company that assesses me an interest rate of $10/day - yes, EACH DAY - seems futile. The money seems better spent paying down the principle on our home equity loan, or Joe's student loans (in the two years we've been together, I've managed to knock his down by $2k - but he only owed $7k when I became the family accountant). Of course, when we get married, the amount I will owe under IBR changes. You have to reapply every year, so if I have a particularly lucrative book year, like I did when STARLET got made into a movie, my payments would be higher. But if I have slower year, like I did in 2008 when I was out of work for eleven months and only got a small lump sum of book money, then yeah - $50 payments.

The idea that these payments could be forgiven in full within 25 years makes me so happy. Honestly, one of my biggest concerns was that I'd still be saddled with the debt when Joe's and my kids were prepping for college. But this new plan sort of safe-guards me from that, to an extent. At any rate, it's good news all around.

I haven't actually applied to be considered for this program yet, because truth be told, I had to file an extension on my 2008 taxes and haven't completely finished them. That's next up on the list for the summer - finishing my spreadsheet of tax-deductible expenses from the previous year and getting the whole mess to the accountant. But I did want to make sure that those of you who may not be aware of the program could find it here. Also that there's a bipartisan bill in the House of Representatives that would make any loan forgiveness taxed as income, which sort of defeats the purpose of the program to begin with (at least in part). You can read more about that here, and write to your local state rep to fight this bill.

Hope this helps at least some of you!

Thanks to Lauren Barnholt for linking to this post on John Green's blog about author advances. This is a question I get asked just about everywhere I speak - even high school kids care more about HOW an author gets paid than HOW much, which I've always found sort of fascinating.

Had a great chat with my agent this morning (which is typical - George is always making me laugh, recommending obscure films he thinks I'll enjoy, or telling me about articles he's read recently that he wants me to check out, too). One thing that boggled my mind was what he said about how different BEA was from years past. I haven't exactly been vigilant about keepin up with the blogosphere, but he mentioned how some publishers, instead of distributing galleys, were offering stick drives with up to seven books on them in PDF form. My first thought was that this is brilliant in terms of controlling cost. My second was, "Oh, god - how are they going to be able to protect the manuscripts from being passed around the Internet?" This is something we authors haven't really had to deal with on a large level, besides the Google Books fiasco and the difficulty controlling the distribution of audiobooks through the same sites where people illegally download mp3, games, and programs.

I think we're only really starting to get an understanding of how the recession will effect the book biz. Harold Underdown's article, "Working in Children's Books and the Recession of 2008-09" really hit me hard yesterday, because even it ends on a hopeful note, it wasn't until I saw the "who's moving where" link that I realized how bad things are for the publishers. I mean, in a lot of cases, you often feel like you're outside the publisher, because no matter how much you love your editor or house, there's still that slight tinge of bitterness that everyone else makes a comfortable living off your books except you (unless you're a superstar, or crazy prolific (I'm looking at you, Elizabeth Scott!), in which case, this may not apply).

[Tangent: in his article, Harold recommends reading Leonard Marcus's MINDERS OF MAKE-BELIEVE, about the history of children's book publishing, which I second. George sent it to me to read while I was recovering from surgery, and it's amazing. This is definitely a case of not judging a book by its less-than-fantastic cover.]

Back to the galley-on-stick-drive thing: one thing George mentioned that never crossed my mind is how this system of distributing paperless books pre-pub is going to have a profound effect on librarians. Thoughts on this, librarians?

Last, George made a point about teling me that I needed to read Elizabeth Bluemle's recent PW blog about the do's and don'ts of promotional e-mailing. One thing I want to add to her incredibly informative list is that when you're sending promotional emails to fellow authors, make sure that they either A) asked to be on your mailing list or B) have the option of unsubscribing without having to tell you WHY you're unsubscribing. I recently got an email blast from someone I can't even remember ever meeting, who doesn't write in my genre, and who sends out blasts every two to three weeks. I responded to one "Unsubscribe," thinking that was enough, but no, she demanded to know my name and the reason why. She had my e-mail address, obviously, so why pressure me into telling her that I think her books sound lame and that I'm not interested in learning that she had a mini-interview in her small-town's coupon clipper (okay, that last part is totally made up).

I'm even more excited to get this advice from a bookseller's perspective, as I'm in the final stages of my PR prep for THE SWEET LIFE OF STELLA MADISON, which is out in just over two weeks. Also coming soon is the long-promised website overhaul I'm working on with Little Willow - the delays in merging Lola's site with Lara's have been entirely mine, as I always have about 50 things going on at the same time. She's been so patient with me, though, and a total sweetheart - I definitely recommend her work to any of you soon-to-be first-time authors seeking a web designer who does good, clean work and makes it fun at the same time.

Tomorrow: a post I keep delaying about changes in the laws regarding repayment of student loans (it's all good news, so yay!).

Random Bit #1

From the Inbox page of the 6/29 issue of TIME, in reference to the magazine's recent cover story on Twitter:

"The overblown coverage of Twitter in the media has grown tiresome. Steven Johnson reports that Twitter had 17.1 million visitors internationally in April, but with the U.S. population at more than 300 million, the percentage of users that are American is pretty small. Furthermore, according to Neilson, 60% of all users drop out after a month. 'Once just a fad'? Sounds like it's still a relatively small and concentrated fad. Members of the media never grasp that they are not representative of the country as a whole." - Barb Neff, Santa Monica, Calif.

This is pretty much me. I tweeted in, stayed active for about six weeks, dropped out. It took too much time to read through everyone's tweets, think of interesting things to tweet about, respond to other people's far more interesting tweets, and and respond to people who responded to my often inane ones. Of course, I left Twitter before the latest celebrity invasion, which I probably would've found amusing/addictive in the same way that I find myself actually Googling things like "what will happen now that Lauren has left THE HILLS?" and "Stephanie Pratt bulimia" and "Are Whitney and Jay back together?" Which leads me to ...

Random Bit #2

From the Books page of the 6/26-7/3 issue of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, in an article titled "When Stars Write Novels":

"Is there nothing LC can't do? Well, uh, yes. Write a 'novel.' Authos need to be judged as writers, not as mutltasking buzz generators .... Publishers these days are laying off staff and cutting the number of titles on their lists; the book business is suffering along with everyone else, and there's little room to gamble on an untried writer, however exciting that new voice. Yet with one eye on marketing opportuntites and the other on TV ratings, these same publishers have given the okay to a larky novice who'd be the first to admit that she just thought authoring might be, you know, cool." - Lisa Schwarzbaum

Two things: One, this is exactly why, despite my morbid curiosity about LA CANDY, and the obvious ghostwriter hired to pen LC's thinly-veiled "fiction," I refuse to pay a penny toward actuallly reading it. There will be enough HILLS-obsessed teens lining up to fork over their (or their parents') hard-earned money, which will only affirm Harper Collins's prediction that this book will be an enormous blockbuster. The underlying message? "Sales dollars trump quality any day" - which is already a huge beef I have with YA currently.

Second, despite a ton of press about Conrad's decision to enter the YA market, few have addressed the fact that it was the publisher who approached HER and not vice-versa. On a recent interview she gave to the ladies of THE VIEW (you know, the one where she admits that Spencer never actually apologized to her - that they filmed his half with her NOT on the other line, thereby confirming suspicions that the "reality show" is heavily scripted), Conrad was asked by a visibly disgusted Whoopie Goldberg why she bothered to write this book. Conrad wiggles for a minute, saying that she'd thought about becoming an author and at first had pitched the idea of a dating book (though anyone who watched her disastrous relationship with cokehead Jason on TV would wonder why LC ever thought - for even a second - that she had valuable advice in the romance department) before switching over to wanting to write something fashion related. Then, she says, her publisher approached her with this idea. (I'd figured this all along; I've heard of YA editors courting certain celebrities whose names would guarantee sales, though when it's someone like Margartet Cho, who actually CAN write, I'm less disgusted by the practice. In fact, I've been disappointed that Cho's entrance into the YA genre has yet to materialize, because when I read about the sale on Publisher's Lunch, and later asked the editor who signed her about the decision, I was seriously excited. Cho writing about adolescence? Yeah, that's something I would have to read.)

The appeal, as Conrad tells it, is that the YA novel gave her an opportunity to explore the side of THE HILLS that the public never gets to see. Critics have often wondered by MTV chooses to shoot the show as if LC and her crew of super-thin, super-cute, super-shallow friends AREN'T super famous; apparently, Conrad shares this frustration. In that same VIEW spot, she talks about how there'd be times when they'd be filming and she'd sneak off to "video village" to hang out with the directors/producers, fascinated more by their process than the carefully edited version of her life that's run since she was a teen. Producing, she says, is one of her ultimate goals; fashion, it appears, is just a pit stop on her way to mogul-hood. Tyra Banks would be so proud.

Not-Quite-as-Random Bit #3

The current state of the YA book biz is something I've been chewing over a lot lately, for a myriad of reasons. Like the fact that despite knowing I should be shooting for commercial fiction with the kind of sexy slant that sells (a la my Lola Dougals books), the truth is, writing something with a prescribed format doesn't interest me at all. Morgan Carter's story, as told in the two STARLET books, was something I dreamed up on my own, and it just happened to have high commercial appeal - not something I crafted to be commercial in the first place. There are dozens of authors who I admire who've become huge successes not by writing flash-in-the-pan, semi-disposable novels, but by culling massive reader audiences the old-fashioned way: through strong writing, patience, and perserverance (see, for instance, the career of Sarah Dessen).

Also, I've been wrapped up in a professional editing job for an accomplished non-fiction author whose first foray into young adult fiction has amazing potential, but has struggled to sell. The thing is, her book, too, sprung from a personal passion but also has that sexy commercial appeal that publishers pant over. So I've had to puzzle over why the book's had trouble finding a home, despite the author's kick-ass idea and impeccable pedigree. My guess is that at one point, before sales dollars trumped everything else, an editor would've taken on the project immediately and helped the author develop her vision. In this market, my first novel, BRINGING UP THE BONES, wouldn't have made it to the contract stage - it needed too much work between the draft I submitted and the one that got published. But back in 2001, when I was named the honor winner in the Delacorte and offered a deal, editors still had the time, energy, and freedom to take on flawed projects such as mine - ones that didn't have the potential to blow up like TWILIGHT. This just isn't the case any more.

Yesterday I traveled down to Dover, to talk to my friend Peggy Dilner's current crop of YA lit students, most of whom are pursuing certifications to become school media specialists. When Peggy first started inviting me to talk to her classes, it was more about being a YA author from Delaware, which was a novelty then (we now have several other YA'ers we can boast, including but not limited to Tony Varrato). Now she asks me to speak to them about my persepective on the industry as an author, and the changes I've seen take place between BONES' publication and STELLA's upcoming one. It's not sour grapes on my part when I tell them how drastically different things have become; when CONTENTS came out in 2004, all YA novels pub'd by mainstream houses were guaranteed review space in every major journal. Just 18 months later, when ANYONE BUT YOU debuted, this was no longer the case. The market had become so glutted that an author had to feel grateful when they were awarded space in a review journal, even if that review was mixed. (Of course, here I'm talking about B-list authors like myself, and not people like John Green or Laurie Halse Anderson, who are superstars and don't need to worry so miuch about whether or not they'll be reviewed as much as if their latest offering meets the high expectations set by earlier best-sellers they've delivered.)

Peggy's heard me speak about my career path and my mixed feelings about the industry for several years now. Last night she got to see a more bubbly side, because right now I'm feeling good about STELLA's general reception, this editing project (which has been so much fun, despite the quick turnaround), and my career in general. I joked to her students that I've declared on more than one occasion I was hanging up my keyboard and done with being an author forever. This week? I'm not feeling "over." I'm feeling inspired to dive into my current WIP, a passion project that's been nibbling at me for six years now. It's good to be in this place again - wanting to write, instead of feeling like I have to, and being more concerned again with telling a great story than whether or not my publishers will be pleased with my market-directed sensibilities. If, for example, this current WIP should fail to find a home (and at the risk of sound cocky, which if you know me in real life, you know is not who I am at all - I have no doubt it WILL find a home), I'd be okay with it. Because I'd have written it for all of the right reasons, instead of the wrong ones that lead me down this bitter, jaded path to begin with.

[I'm far too tired to do all of the hyperlinking I should do here, or even proofread what I've written, so I think I'm going to just wrap up now and hit the sheets until my 11 a.m. conference call with the aforementioned kick-ass writer I'm working with. Please excuse the lack of linkage and the possibility of typos; I've had six hours of sleep in the past three days and I'm about ready to fall over.]

FIRSTS

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
I never went. This, sadly, is probably the biggest thing I regret about high school. Other than hooking up with Shawn Rairigh, that is.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Uh, no. Not since ... 2000?

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
According to my mother, beer. As a toddler, I'd follow people around at parties and finish their drinks. My parents, at the time, thought this was hilarious. (Which tells you a little something about my parents.)

4. What was your FIRST job?
Checkout girl at a grocery store. I got fired without even realizing it. When I was hired I told them I could only work two Sundays a month, because Sundays were the days I spent with my dad (typical child of divorce). They put me on for four Sundays in a row, and I complained. The next week, my name was on the schedule, but I didn't have any hours. I thought, "Whee, a vacation!" The next week, my name was gone. I never even had to turn in my smock.

5. What was your FIRST car?
A 1988 Subaru station wagon with power windows that didn't go down. Try explaining that to the guys in the inspection lanes at DMV.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
No one. I'm not a big texter. Sometimes I get ones from my aunt, Wendy, or Cindy. Every once in a while, I get a love text from Joe. But no. Not a texter. Or a tweeter.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Joe, because his alarm is going to go off in about five minutes, and I still haven't been to bed. WORKING! (And playing a little HARVEST MOON.)

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Whorl, at Brookside Elementary, but I'm betting I'm spelling her name wrong. Hell, I think I spelled my own name wrong back then.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Boston. My mom grew up in Belmont.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
I don't remember anyone from my PA kindergarten, except Nathan, with whom I got caught "making out" during a performance of PETER PAN. To us, making out meant holding hands and rubbing our noses on each other's necks. Cara Ward was my best friend from my DE kindergarten, as was Heather Hartrim. Found Cara on Facebook recently, but we haven't done more than exchange wall posts.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
I don't remember. I do remember having an enormous one for my 10th birthday, and my mom rented a VCR for the event. We watched some movie with Rick Springfield, paused on the naked butt scene, and giggled forever. The pictures from this monumental event are priceless.

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Define "today." It's 6:29 a.m. and I'm still awake. After midnight, I talked to Joe and the dog. Right now, they're both still sleeping, though as I said, the alarm will be going off at any minute.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
My aunt Barbara and Uncle Jeffrey's. I was supposed to be the flower girl, but after they got engaged, they found out that my cousin Zach didn't feel like waiting to be conceived. So it was a small ceremony at a synagogue, and I wore a blue taffetta dress and white tights, but didn't have any flowers. This was so distressing to me, because not long before I'd attended my uncle Dick's second wedding, and my cousin Caroline was HIS flower girl, and at the time I thought she was the most worldly, beautiful, glamorous person on Earth. When they picked us up at the airport, she was wearing pink leather pants and already knew how to work them (she was, like, nine). We played DALLAS in the downtime, though I'd never watched the show, and oh, man. I have a short story I started years ago inspired by that trip, but I've never known how to finish it.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Now that the alarm's going off, I suppose the first thing I'll be doing is explaining to Joe why I never went to sleep, and then going to sleep.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine, somewhere in Philly.

16. FIRST broken bone?
None. I have freakishly strong bones.

17. FIRST piercing
Ears, age 6. Every girl in my class was wearing crosses and I wanted some and didn't understand why my Jewish parents wouldn't let me get them.

18. FIRST foreign country you visited?
London, when I was a junior in college. It was over a winter session. We took a weekend trip to Ireland. I made it to Canada years later, both coasts. And that's about it for me and foreign countries.

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
Drive-in double feature - STAR WARS and CLASH OF THE TITANS. I fell asleep during the second one. Just read in EW that they're doing a remake of it - weird.

20. When was your FIRST detention?
Sixth grade, I think. I got in a fight with Rhonda Lynam for stealing my chair, and somehow I got blamed for the ensuing scuffle. Rhonda was always getting me into trouble, even when she sicced her much older brother on me. Because he was a baseball star, and the principal was the coach, I was the one who ended up in detention.

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Jen Pennington (now McLaughlin). We were both nerds who attended UD's summer college program the summer before our senior year in high school. We also roomed together two years in college, and are still pretty good friends.

23. If you had one wish, what would it be?
Selfishly, that we had enough money that I could choose to work, instead of needing to work. My life would be so much less stressful if every decision I made was about choice and not necessity.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
I'd love to learn how to sing, but I have a crappy voice. This is one of the main reasons I was envious of my middle school best friend, Kim Walters (now Aziz), because she had the voice of an angel and I was tone deaf.

25. Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage/you asked to marry?
Not yet, but I will - Feb. 27, 2010.

26. What was the first sport you were involved in?
Gymnastics. I rocked, too.

27. What were the first lessons you ever took?
Ballet and tap dancing, simultaneously. There's a picture from one of my recitals that my father dubbed "Tiny Dancer," after the Elton John song, that is still one of my favorite pictures ever. I just look so sad, but also weirdly beautiful. And I was, like, four.

28. What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Pee, take the dog out, or put on my PJs - whichever is the most pressing.

29. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?
I'd say my mom, but she's leaving for a 10-day road trip/family vacation tomorrow. So, I don't know. Maybe Kim?

BTW, the alarm has now been going off for 11 minutes. Funniest thing? In the summers I don't get up with Joe, and never even HEAR the alarm. I actually sleep through this? Then again, I slept through not one but two fire alarms during a winter session when I was living all by myself in the Towers at UD. So, you know. Heavy sleeper.

Hey, look! Scout's up! So I guess the first think I'll be doing this morning is taking him for a walk.