Dear iTunes,

I really, really hate it when you get all buggy and start deleting libraries and crashing and gah, now I can't even get you to boot properly. WTF? What did I ever do to you, iTunes? Really, I'm asking. WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

Sincerely,
Cranky Pants

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Dear Alex from THE PAPER,

I cannot believe what a petty, shallow, childish ass you are. Do you have any idea how foolish you come across on this show? Why? Why are you like this? You give high school boys a bad name.

Signed,
Not a Fan

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Dear Enbrel,

You are so not the miracle drug I was promised. I see no improvement in my psoriasis and to boot, you've weakened my immune system so much that I've spent the past month exhausted and sickly and so not fun to be around. You and me, Enbrel - we're done. And I might just have to break up with the doctor who prescribed you as well, since not a single prescription she's giving me for anything - even adult acne - has done a lick of good.

So long,
LZ

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Dear Mom,

Why would you bother telling Joe you made the good chicken salad with the lavender if you weren't going to save any for us? That's just mean, Momma. Really, really mean.

- Your grumpus daughter

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Dear Joe, Candace, Carolee, Patty at Dr. Imber's office, and the nice lady at the trash company,

Thank you all for helping make today bearable. I love you, each and every one of you.

xoxo
Lara